Anonymous asked:
Do you have any suggestions for doms that have submissives with severe mental illnesses?
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THIS IS NOT TOPPING FROM THE BOTTOM
I’ve had a lot of subs use this term in various asks I’ve found in my inbox over the years, and in most of them, fear of being seen as “topping from the bottom” has silenced them from expressing themselves to their dominant in the very collaborative and constructive way that Pip did with me today. This is communication. This is not topping from the bottom. Also, if you happen to see Pip this week, be sure to ask her about her onesie.
JD &
@tooprettytolive
The Power of No
The instinct to grant wishes and to be generous to your sub can be hard to go against for some. This is often true for new dominants just learning. It was true for me when I first found kink. She is your good girl. You want to say YES. Truth be told, “yes” is not where the true power lies. To give her everything she wants, is to remove dominant influence over her life. She could give herself permission to entertain every impulse that comes over her, without you. To always say yes, is to make your role as her dominant - superfluous. She may as well be in charge of herself.
She will know who is in charge, and be reminded of her place and her choices, when you tell her NO. Saying no makes you her check and balance. Saying no sometimes, is what she wants you to do.
When you tell her no, make it at appropriate times. To say no simply because you have the power to do so is disrespectful of the power she’s given you, and gives the impression you don’t know what to do with that power. To say no at appropriate times, when it matters, will inform her of what you think is important for her life. It will show her how you love her, and how much you care about the thing that is getting the no.
When that opportunity to reasonably deny her presents itself, don’t let it pass you by. Give her the reason she put you in charge, and the gift of guidance. It is both your responsibility, and your role.
JD
11/10/18
From Last Night’s Menu
Lots of rope and impact went on last night at the lodge with my people. Lots of sore butts still snoring at this hour. Sore butts and implements by @missvee81. (Yes that is a real fucking shillelagh back there!)
JD
Science the hell out of whatever her challenges are, and then do your best to address them within the dynamic you build together. There’s a lot that a kink dynamic can do that’s therapeutic to many mental illnesses.
JD
Anonymous asked:
Do you find it needy when she misses you and asks (not demands) to be near you?
I take it as an expression of love and desire, and appreciate that I’m lucky enough to have such a wonderful little creature that is so taken with me.
It is not needy to want love and affection. It’s human.
JD
on-my-knees-please asked:
Where are you going after 12/17?
onelittlekingdom answered:
I will hang about here to see what things look like in the crater that is left behind. A lot of why I love blogging isn’t necessarily image based. I may also get absorbed in some new space or another. My other haunts to start will be:
FetLife: JerseyDaddy47
bdsmlr: OneLittleKingdom
I hope to see so many familiar faces coming to find me in those two spaces.
JD
chloe-harwood-the-beauty-queen asked:
Hello i'm a mother for two little girl's, all i want to say is, ur a creep and a pedofile, ur everything for a little girl's nightmare, go fucking kill urself u pedo, my foster daughter got molested by her parent's, i will not sit on my bed reading fucking bullshit from grown men wat they done to little girl's and don't say nothing, well i have to, like wat i said, i have two little daughter's, my heart gose out to little girl's the most, fuck boy's, fuck men, they have the weapon to hurt
I hope someone teaches your girls to educate themselves on things they don’t completely understand before forming opinions on them. I further hope someone teaches them to not tell strangers to kill themselves over the Internet.
JD
It’s Not Always Time To Play
April 17, 2018
This morning when I woke up and checked on Pip, I discovered that she wasn’t feeling well, and thought she might be (getting) sick. I was up early because I was stopping by to wake her up and press all her fun buttons, before we had to make our way to work. I sighed with empathy at my phone. My girl has been having a rough time on various fronts lately, and sick is what I was sure she didn’t need on top of it all. Immediately, I altered my headspace from one of Dominant, to that of Caretaker. This morning was going to need to be about comfort and care for my sick little bean, and not playing with all the fun holes. You know what folks? - that was just fine.
I know all the subs out there are all about being good little service girls. They want to have the holes available for their partner “anytime and anywhere”, as the kinky adage goes. I’m here to tell you that it’s 100% OK that you don’t, and you can’t. You take care of us plenty, and sometimes it’s time for you to just be, and let your partner take care of you. It doesn’t make you any less of a submissive. Let that toxic guilt go.
I know there are Dominants out there who don’t give a fuck if their sub is sick, if they are sad, or just simply not in the headspace to be of service. They will go ahead and dig into what was given to them anyway, sighting the agreement of submission over the reality of present circumstances. Shame on you. If your sub can spread those legs, take those licks, and care for you as often as you want, why can you not make some small effort to care of he/she who takes care of you and your every need?
I spent the morning laying in Pip’s bed, letting her drape herself over me in various positions as she slept fitfully. Before I left, I made sure she had some medicine in her, and water by her bedside. She didn’t need much from me, just a Daddy who understood that the order of the day was being next to her in bed, holding her for a couple of hours while she slept, and not one that was focused only on themselves, and their own desires. Thankfully Pip’s Daddy knows that it’s not always time to play.
JerseyDaddy🌹
How to Trust Again
1. Recognize the benefits of trusting others, and building some meaningful relationships. If you never let others get close to you, then you’re likely to feel lonely and empty inside.
2. Remember that one person doesn’t have to meet your needs. We can trust different people with aspects of ourselves. Doing that can feel less risky, and a lot less scary.
3. Look at the actions of other people before you decide if you can trust them or not. If they are kind to others and they seem reliable, then it’s likely they will treat you in that same way, too. However, be wary of people who are mean or critical, or who talk about others, or are unpredictable.
4. Give trust slowly – let others prove themselves – and if they seem trustworthy then start to trust them more. Share a few small things before you share some bigger things.
5. Trust yourself to cope if someone lets you down. We’ve all been disappointed and betrayed by other people. Have the confidence to know that you will manage, and survive!!
6. Don’t pressurise yourself to give more than you are able. It’s hard to trust others if you’re feeling insecure, or if you’ve been hurt by others, or if trust is threatening. Decide to take it slowly and be patient with yourself.
Be A Daddy First
Being a Daddy without a little can be hard, especially when you’re just coming out of a relationship or if you haven’t been in a relationship for a while and you’re lonely. It can be very tempting to just start blindly reaching out to every little you encounter, but this will only make you look desperate and creepy to many littles. Loneliness is a powerful force, but it can be a terrible reason to enter into this particular lifestyle. So, what’s a Daddy to do?
First and foremost, even without having a little of your own, be a Daddy. How can someone be a Daddy without a little, you ask? Being a Daddy isn’t something that magically happens because you have a little, being a Daddy is something that you are. Littles don’t stop being littles when they are without a Daddy, and neither do Daddies stop being Daddies when they are without a little. Being a Daddy is a state of mind, a manner of conducting yourself, and a way of life. Having a little gives you the chance to be her Daddy, but it does not make you a Daddy. That part, that essence, comes from within.
How should a Daddy act when he hasn’t got a little? The same way he should act in public and around other littles who are not his littles. A Daddy should be a gentleman - not rude, crude, or boorish. He should be friendly without being overly familiar with new people, especially littles. He should command respect with his bearing and demeanor, not demand it with his words like an impetuous, petulant teenager. If you carry yourself properly, you do not have to ask for or demand respect from most people; they will recognize the need to give you respect merely from your presence.
You don’t always have to walk around in a suit and tie to be a Daddy. Many Daddies are construction workers or laborers or hold other blue collar jobs. If you are just getting off work, there’s no shame in having dirt on you. The mud and dirt and grime of a working man are like badges of honor. That being said, if you know you’re going out in public, especially in the company of a little, and you have the time to clean up, you should absolutely do so. A Daddy should take pride in his appearance. You may not be a model, but you can always be presentable.
When speaking, a Daddy should always be respectful, especially when talking to littles that aren’t his littles. You can’t expect littles to listen to you, take orders from you, or otherwise behave as if you are their Daddy just because you claim the title. You can ask that they call you by your name, or “Mister” or “Mr. ____” because these are just generic terms of respect. You can ask to be called “Sir”, but do not be surprised if they decline that term because of the connection that may have with some of their past “Sirs”. If you present it, present it as an option, not a demand. When you present littles with options, they are much more open than if you simply order or instruct them to call you one particular title. As you develop more of a relationship with them, they may agree to more formal titles and you might just begin the process of forming a bond with a little, but it is not something to rush.
Remember that submission, whether from a sub or a little, is a gift. It requires a trust that must be earned and a level of respect above and beyond the cursory respect reserved for strangers. You cannot expect it from them right away, and you must never demand it from anyone. If you are the right kind of person, and if you are patient and allow the relationship to develop, it might happen. When it does, recognize that it is a conditional gift, and should you lose sight of the significance of it and if you should stop being worthy of it, it can be revoked at any time.
Finally, when speaking, Daddies should not be overly prideful or boastful. You don’t need to correct everyone, nor should you constantly attempt to prove that you’re the smartest or most interesting man in the room. You are not there seeking approval from others or attempting to persuade anyone of your worthiness as an individual or as a Daddy. You simply are. You are a presence that exudes calm and confidence, so you have nothing to prove to anyone. Be yourself, be truthful, and look after those around you. I always liken myself to a sheepdog, guarding my flock. I can be playful and loving, but I can also go into attack mode should my flock be threatened. Adopt this mentality and it will serve you well.
Until next time!
Reblogged from my nsfw account
xcorpsekittenx
